Am I a failure?

When I first found out I was getting divorced, one if the first thoughts that was constantly racing through my mind was, "What did I do? What could I have done to prevent this?"

The answer was nothing. It was not my fault. I was not the one that wanted my marriage to end, even though I was unhappy. When I got married, I honestly wanted it to be my only marriage. I did not even want to think about divorce, but things happen that are out of our control. As I have said before, if one person is trying to make the marriage work, it won't work. Marriage is 50-50. Both sides have to commit.

I'm hearing more and more from friends who are going through divorce that they had done everything possible to save the marriage, but their partner was not interested in saving it. I told them that it wasn't their fault. None of it was. If you are trying to fix it, you have done all you can do.

If you are going through a divorce and you are struggling to figure out what you could have done to save it, please stop right now. You will only beat yourself up over it when it is not your problem. All you can do is accept what is happening to realize that better things are on the horizon.

In the words of Sierra Boggess,"You are enough. You are so enough. It's unbelievable how enough you are."